“Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter.” Matthew 26:30
There are times in life that test us. Times when it takes all we have to just hold tightly to Jesus. Times when we know that without supernatural intervention we will not make it through to the other side of our problems.
The last four years of my life I have felt as if the bad times would never end. Yet, I learned so much and felt like I needed to share those things with others who needed encouragement too.
I have 503 subscribers to my blog. I have encouraged people because that is my gift to the body of God. In 2001, prior to 9/11, I had been praying for God to reveal my ministry to me. In the middle of one night God woke me up and through a scripture reference told me to use my love of writing to encourage others. At the time I was fairly computer illiterate. But I searched around found “In Jesus,” and started blogging. Later I switched to Word Press in order to reach a larger group of hurting people, I have been blogging online, in one form or another, since that time.
My husband and I are committed believers in Christ. We are givers. We believe that anytime God blesses us he calls us to bless others. Please know that I am not boasting about this giving heart of mine. I am trying to share my heart with you and as this blog post goes on you will understand why I am bringing this up. I fast and pray for people and I offer mostly free counseling. Some rare times I have been payed, but I try to never let anyone’s ability to donate for counseling stopped them from getting help.
Recently, because of an emergency situation where my husband and I were being threatened with eviction, not because of not paying rent, not because of destruction of property or illegal activities but because I asked our landlord to possibly fix a few things, he sent us a two week eviction notice. Our lease will be up July 1st, but he had sent a certified letter extending that until September 1st. We agreed and then I made the fatal mistake of asking him about the ceiling mold, etc. He then sent us an email telling us he was recending the certified mail and we had two weeks to get out.
We are older, we are both disabled and, frankly we cannot move our stuff ourselves. In order to move we would have to hire movers. We have no savings because my husband went in the hospital 4 years ago for an operation and ended up with a flesh eating disease that ate his sternum and ribs. He was in the hospital for three months and had seven operation. This wiped out our savings and his life as he knew it. After that the IRS went after us. My student loan payment, that had been deferred, started again. I could go on and on but you all get the picture.
After praying at the end of last week, I set up a GoFundMe account and received not one dollar, not one, “I am praying for you,” nothing. I sure got a lot of looks though from people nosy to find out what was going on. I put it on my FB account. Friends there were folks who had needed help before and I had contributed to their GoFundMe accounts. I had prayed for these people, counseled them, bought from their online businesses and yet not a one of them gave a dollar, or offered a prayer. After 72 hours I deleted the GoFundMe account and my FB account.
People, believe me when I say that I NEVER ask for help. I go directly to God and I did so this time too and felt God advising me to do the GoFundMe account. We need money to move and possibly for a hotel until we can save up for another place to live. We are disabled seniors and no one, even in our own families, offered a dime.
We are in the middle of a lawsuit against the doctor and hospital that damaged my husband. In my prayers for help I had prayed and told God that not only would I pay back anything we got but doubly bless anyone who helped us.
I am writing this because my heart is broken into so many pieces that there is not enough superglue in the world to put it back together again. I am praying for God to help me forgive all the self-centered selfish “so-called” believers. What part of helping your brother and sister in need did they not understand. If they had nothing to give they could have at least said, “I am praying for you!”
Not a word, not one word! I know I am not the only one. Has this happened to you too? If so, comment and tell your story. Get it out here! People need to know!
I still don’t know what to do, but as much as Satan has used people to hurt me, I STILL have not turned away from my daddy God! He’s all I have!
Jesus was betrayed too. Did you know that? Yes, the Bible says he was disappointed that not a one of them stayed awake with him the night before his betrayal. Jesus was spit on, denied and, at first, no one would help him carry the cross! So, if like me, your heart is broken and your soul is weary from being betrayed by so called Christians you are not alone!
I am a writer, writing helps me to get my feelings out! Thank you for reading and please share your own story! With your permission, I will share it here.
“What you did to the least of these you did also to me!” Jesus
In His Unconditional Love,