Dysfunctional Due To Divorce

One of the things about being an elder is that we have seen things, both good and bad. We have done things, both good and bad, and so hopefully we have learned better and we mentor others to do better.

I was watching the Bush family and their togetherness. It’s admirable.

I know that there are situations that were, and are, hard and sometimes people have no choice but to make a change.

I truly believe, having unfortunately been there, that divorce causes so much dysfunction and remarriages do too.

You have children who don’t like stepparents. It is painful on so many levels, women who are jealous of step mothers, fathers who are jealous of step fathers, children and even adult children, who play one set against the other.

Look around you and maybe in your own life, or some family member, you see constant chaos and dysfunction caused as a result of having to try to get along with people you never asked to have in your life to begin with.

Praying about this today I feel God directing me to encourage those I mentor to try and work things out in your marriages. If you have been through a divorce try your best to be kind to all involved. Don’t badmouth your ex or the new spouse. Try to show love and respect in order to put a stop to a lot of the dysfunction caused by divorce and remarriage.

Most importantly we can avoid all of this by having strong marriages. When we aren’t living for God there is no way we can stay happily married. First of all, if we are single, we should not even date unbelievers. Why? Because we walk into Satan’s territory.

Just my humble opinion, after learning the hard way. I pray none of you will have to suffer through the chaos of divorce!

In His Unconditional Love

Cathie

Belovedhandmdn1@aol.com

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Being Faithful With What You Have

Your level of blessing is all equal to your stewardship. What you do with what you have determines what more God will give you.

When I was a young mom with four kids I was praying for a bigger house as we had outgrown the little house we were living in.

One day as I was seeking the Lord, while my kids were napping, I cried out to the Lord as to why nothing was moving forward in regards to us being able to get a new house.

As clear as a bell, in my head, the Lord spoke to me, “ My dear daughter look around you. Your home is a mess. If you cannot take care of this house, you are not ready for a bigger one.” I looked around and it was true. I was a stay at home mom at that time. I had no excuse at the time. It was 2 o’clock in the afternoon and dirty dishes were still in my sink.

I got my act together and started taking better care of my house. A year later my husband got a huge raise and we moved to a beautiful, larger home.

Take care of what you have been given by God before you ask for more.

Jesus – “Unless you are faithful in small matters, you won’t be faithful in large ones. If you cheat even a little, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities. And if you are untrustworthy about worldly wealth, who will trust you with the true riches of heaven. And if you are not faithful with other people’s money, why should you be trusted with money of your own? No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” (Luke 16:10-13 )

In His Unconditional Love

Cathie Miller

Belovedhandmdn1@aol.com

The Truth About Counseling

This may offend some so I apologize in advance. If your therapy is working for you by all means continue.

Ten years ago I began to question the Lord about why so many people would tell me they wanted Christian counseling who were already seeking counsel with a secular counselor and we’re not getting better.

God used the woman at the well to show me the counseling method he wanted me to use. He spoke to me about the woman at the well. He said, “In secular counsel you delve in a person’s childhood. Bringing up all the hurt does more harm then good. When I saw the woman at the well I didn’t do an intake. I didn’t tell her she was a relationship addict due to her childhood. Even if true it didn’t matter because she was in desperate need of something to satisfy the hole in her soul that was being filled with anything to make the loneliness go away for a time. No. I told her exactly what I discerned. I told her she had been with 5 men and wasn’t married to the man she was currently living with. I told her what was wrong and then I told her what she really needed was to drink from everlasting water.” Jesus continued, “I cut to the chase, told her what she needed and she got it. She then went and told people, “Come and meet a man who told me everything I ever did!” I want you to discern the problem through prayer, tell the person what the problem is and then what to do about it.”

So that’s what I do. Granted I could make more money by dragging things out and making clients dependent upon me. As a matter of fact very few people pay me at all. Jesus wants us healed and whole so that we can help others.

Dwelling on events from our past is depressing and at the end of the day we have to accept the past, because it cannot change, and come to peace with it. Blaming our parents, even if they deserve it, is a way of putting our pain on someone else that was probably messed up by their parents too.

Accept,forgive, move on in peace.

Do all Christian Counselor counsel the same? No. I used the model Christ gave me and I have had so many people set free that are now living depression free. Not because of who I am but because of who HE is.

The past cannot be changed but the future can be whatever we want it to be.

In His Unconditional Love

Cathie

Please use this email address to contact me or for PayPal donations Belovedhandmdn1@aol.com

Even Jesus Was Rejected

So often we suffer rejection of our message about Jesus from our own families.

Even Jesus was not listened to by his own people, yet we cannot understand, often, the rejection of our message by some of those in our own families.

To quote from the Bible, ‘Now Jesus himself had pointed out that a prophet has no honour in his own country’ (John 4:44). Christ also said ‘no prophet is accepted in his home town’ (Luke 4:16-30), and ‘Only in his home town and in his own house is a prophet without honor”

Philip found Nathanael and said to him, “We have found him of whom Moses in the Torah and also the prophets wrote, Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph.” Nathanael said to him, “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?”

Mark 6:11

And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear you, when ye depart thence, shake off the dust under your feet for a testimony against them. Verily I say unto you, It shall be more tolerable for Sodom and Gomorrha in the day of judgment, than for that city.

Cheer up believers. Even Jesus suffered rejection by those closest to Him.

In God’s Unconditional Love,

Cathie

For contact or PayPal donations Hsbelovedhandmdn1@aol.com

Appearances

As I was watching and listening to Steven Furtick preach online this morning the Lord started pouring some wisdom into my spirit. Steven was, surprisingly, teaching on appearances. Some people have all the right appearances. They are in church all the time. They have a lot of money, which pays for fancy vacations, new cars and fine houses. You look at them and are impressed by it all. But God is not! God is not! Because God is looking on the heart, as my sweet Sister, Ihu Oma, reminded me this morning.

All of that stuff is impressive to look at and read about but it’s nothing to God because behind the scenes these people are empty suits. It’s all about them. Sometimes I see some of them and their own families of origin are hungry and sick and they do nothing but drive on by self-centeredly in their new cars. They eat at fine restaurants while their own family’s are praising God for beans and tortillas.

Folks God is keeping score. Those folks eating beans and tortillas invite others in and share what little they have with them. They go to minimum wage jobs each day and then do their best to encourage and do for others. Their appearances are not as good as yours but their score with God is so much higher then their appearances.

There is a scripture James 2: 3-5 that warms about appearances;

…3If you lavish attention on the man in fine clothes and say, “Here is a seat of honor,” but say to the poor man “You must stand,” or, “Sit at my feet,” 4have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? 5Listen, my beloved brothers: Has not God chosen the poor of this world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom He promised those who love Him?…

God knows our hearts. He looks past the appearances to the heart. If we do something simply to tick a box and our heart is not really in it, if we do it for praise or recognition God knows that and we miss the blessings involved with it.

The Bible tells us that God loves a cheerful giver. A person that gives because they love to see others happy is much more blessed then a person who begrudgingly pays a tithe. God taught me that years ago. He said to me, “once you give don’t worry about if you get blessed or not. Just give and it will come back when you need it.” Giving is like paying into a heavenly account. God looks down sees you in need and remembers you helping someone in need and then says, “Cathie has a balance in her heavenly account! I will send a Financial blessing her way.” Some of you don’t receive because you have nothing in your heavenly savings account. Start giving sacrificially and watch your situation change for the better.

God says to do the best we can and if people judge us for not doing things their way, they will answer to God. We may look healthy on the outside and yet have a disease such as Lupus that doesn’t show. God made us, he knows our health limitations and he doesn’t expect us to be at the church every time the doors open. We need to leave the judging to God and live our own lives.

One day a woman called me for a counseling appointment. During our time of counseling she proceeded to tell me she had Fibromyalgia and several other health issues. She started crying and telling me how she was invited places and didn’t have the strength to go. Friends and family put a

lot of pressures on this woman and shamed her for not going all the time. She said, “Why can’t I go? What’s wrong with me mentally? They say it’s all in my head!” I told the woman she was not mentally ill at all. She was physically ill and it was her family and friends who had a problem and not her.

Do the best you can. The only person who we need to worry about disappointing is God.

In God’s Unconditional Love,

Cathie King Miller

Don’t Stay Depressed Renew Your Mind

When God taught me how to renew my mind my entire life changed for the better.

We become depressed by thinking depressing thoughts and then dwelling in those thoughts.

Sometimes we like the attention that we get from being depressed. Most of the time we just stay depressed because we don’t realize that depression is a choice.

Try this; the minute you start to think about things that depress you say STOP. Then force your mind elsewhere. Play a game, read a book, watch a funny movie. You are in charge of what you think.

If music triggers thoughts of your ex, and that’s why you are depressed, do not listen to that music. Don’t watch romantic movies and don’t drink. Alcohol is a depressant.

You can renew your mind as soon as YOU make up your mind to do so.

Pray and ask God for strength and then just go forward!

In His Unconditional Love

Cathie

God Get Me Out Of Here!

I often feel like Jonah. I can relate to him standing on the shore of Nineveh and looking at all the evil around him and saying, “God get them all!” To be fair Nineveh was an awful place to be. Evil was everywhere and don’t forget that Nineveh was the home of the Tower of Babel.

When we serve God He often uses us just where we are, in the belly of the beast. He keeps us there until, like Jonah, we repent and decide to do things God’s way.

Maybe you and I feel like we are wanting to escape our Nineveh today. Maybe we have bill collectors, troublemakers, our stressful jobs, sicknesses, family and Satan working through these very people that are all around us. In the natural, like Jonah, we are telling God, “Get me out of here let me escape to another town, another country, ANYWHERE God but here!”

Yet, like Jonah, God has a job for us to do in the midst of all these troubles. He wants us to witness to these people by showing them that through faith in the living God things can be better just where we are, right in the place we want so badly to escape.

When nothing is moving forward for you and you feel stuck consider the fact that God has a job to do, through YOU, right where you are. Once that job, whatever it is, is complete, then and only then, will God move you out.

So what can you do? Surrender. Yes, it’s that easy. Decide that, like Jonah, the quicker you surrender your will to His will, the quicker God will move you out of the current unpleasant situation you are in.

I often compare being in unpleasant situations to a caught fish, struggling to try and get off the hook the fish wildly trashes about. It’s all to no avail because that fish is not getting off that hook until the fisherman takes him off.

Surrender, be still and relax. You will be removed from these people and the unpleasant situation when God wants you to be removed. Be okay with that by living in the moment.

In His Unconditional Love,

Cathie

Dealing With Troublemakers

“ A dishonest man spreads strife.”

We all know them. They are troublemakers. Troublemakers are people who are so miserable in their own life that the only thing that makes them happy is starting trouble between other people, stirring the pot, and then sitting back and gleefully watching the outcome of the trouble they created.

It has taken me awhile but I have recently discovered a major troublemaker in my circle of friends and family. I had noticed that every single person that this person and I know in common suddenly stops talking to me. When, to the best of my knowledge, I had done nothing to any of these people to upset them I prayed about it and God revealed to me the source of the trouble was one person. One person who I have had discernment about for sometime. One person who was at one time close to God but through sexual addictions has opened a door to every demonic spirit one can imagine. Several years ago the person had pictures online of them in church. Then, apparently, they got involved with a bad person or two and you can see that Satan has entered their life now and as they say, “in spades.”

Because most Christians are sensitive people, when we don’t have on the armor of God, when we don’t have the gift of discernment in knowing how to best deal with these troublemakers, they can easily get under our skin, disrupting our home and lives, pulling us into their lion’s den.

All it takes is one Satan filled demon from hell to turn your whole office, family and or friends against you.

At first, when you are the target, you think as a Christian that you can simply pray for them and be kind to them and they will change their ways. I considered that, and frankly I have been praying for the person for years. I prayed for them long before their jealousy of my life led them to try and destroy my ministry and my life.

Upon studying the Bible, regarding the way Jesus handled trouble makers, I came to the knowledge that Jesus used diverse ways in handling troublemakers. Some times he confronted them with anger and outrage while telling followers to pray for these people.

You can try ignoring them but most of them, I have found, become further upset and then do anything they can to get your attention.

I honestly believe the best way to handle them is to go to the people who no longer speak to you and tell them what you suspect the person, the troublemaker, of doing. Their favorite tactic is to tell someone you said something about them. Something hurtful. You can then try and set the record straight. Unfortunately these troublemakers are very skilled at what they do and sometimes the offended friend will NOT believe you.

To my friends in ministry, of any type, I want to warn you of something some of you already know and that is the fact that ministry can be very lonely. We have very few friends because of the anointing Christ has on our lives. Other Christians, out of jealousy, look for something to accuse you of. If you, being human, have a hard day and share that with a friend, the next thing you know it’s used against you. Be very careful of who you share with!

Troublemakers need to be exposed. I have found, as I fast and pray about the situation, God reveals to me how to deal with the problem. He also starts to out the troublemakers to others who then begin to see the truth.

You want to give a troublemaker as little ammunition against you as possible so, after praying, God may tell you to unfollow them on FB, and cut them out of your life. If you have to work with them plead the blood of Jesus over yourself anytime you come into contact with them. Ask God to turn the arrows they are attacking you with right back onto them. God once, during prayer, gave me a vision of a shield of armor surrounding me, as a circular fence. Every time the troublemaker shot malicious arrows my way they bounced off the shield of armor and went back onto the troublemaker.

Do not, and I know it’s so hard, get anxious about a troublemaker. Remember, and quote often, the following scripture;

“Greater is He who is within ME then he who is in the world.” 1 John 4:4.

Lastly, the Word tells us to ignore troublemakers. Set things straight with others, if you can, and then simply try to not think of it all the time. Stop anxiety thoughts and place your mind elsewhere. Then give it to God and try to forgive them, through Christ, who has forgiven you and me of so very much!

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. – James 4:7

In His Unconditional Love,

Cathie

Anxiety Caused By Financial Stress

Living beyond our means causes a whole lot of our anxiety. Pray to get your finances into control. Quit buying things you cannot afford. Pay off your credit cards a little at a time. When our lives are out of control there will be disorder in every area. Disorder breeds stress.

I know of where I speak. I was once totally out of control financially. It caused me undue stress worrying about things I didn’t have to worry about because I spent money as a means of avoiding depression. I would often have to stress over obligations because of spending money on stuff I did not need. In the past ten years if I can’t pay cash for something I just don’t buy it. That life-change took God turning my life around and teaching me self-control.

Spending money we don’t have becomes an addiction, a high. You can start today to get it under control and live within your means. Worrying about paying bills is one of the greatest destroyers of relationships. Anytime you feel you have to spend money on someone to keep them you have a bad problem. I extend that to our children too. Build memories through family activities that don’t involve spending money.

I have had two dear friends die, in the past few years, who were not only paying their own bills but those of their grown children. They were afraid to say “NO” for fear their children wouldn’t love them or spend time with them. That’s emotional blackmail! Worry and stress killed them. There is no doubt in my mind. If you are an adult with a job learn to live on your own money.

Some of us need to grow up and live responsibly. Pray and lay your finances at the feet of Jesus, ask Him humbly about teaching you to live responsibly. If you need help email me at mscathie123@yahoo.com. I will give you a list of books that really helped me.

It’s amazing how quickly God will come to your side with help once you admit you are out of control!

In His Unconditional Love,

Cathie

Defeating Self Pity Thoughts

Today has been so hard for me physically. Yesterday was hard for me too. For the first time ever I wondered if it was time for me to give up my fight with IBD and specifically ulcerative colitis. The constant symptoms are wearing me down. I try not to get down and feel sorry for myself but today has been a constant struggle. I have a husband who is 75% blind and depends on me for almost everything. I would love to stay in bed sometimes because I am weak. However, I have to take care of the both of us. So, on I go. It really is true that you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. Right?

These are the thoughts that wander through my head and if I dwelt on those thoughts too long I would be done for, and so I force my mind away from self pity thoughts.

I decided to write this today to encourage the rest of you. We all have our own problems and God spoke to my heart that their are many others today feeling that they too are reaching the end of their ropes. Some people get down on God at time likes these and they think God must not be there is he allows their suffering to continue.

Beloved, nothing could be further from the truth. It is not God who causes suffering. We are prime targets for the evil one. Those who belong to God often suffer in this world. God sees it and is working behind the scenes to bring someone to help, encourage and lift us up. This is not the time to give up because we are so close to our goal! We fight on and refuse to give Satan what he wants. He see’s what we do for God and thats why he works so hard to discourage us.

I have been sent to you right now to tell you that God is on the scene of your bad situation and he is working to bring you a miracle! Now is not the time to give up! I know you want to and I know in the natural it looks like an impossible situation that you are in. God has dispatched angels for your specific situation and you are getting ready to see the Red Sea of your situation open in front of your eyes, and the eyes of those who have mocked you for trusting God. As hard as it is you much quit the negative thoughts and words and let FAITH arise in your situation again.

I am praising God right now for divine healing and miracle restoration of relationships. I praise him, in spite of what it looks like in the natural, for financial provision pouring down in a stream of glory for those whose financial situations are desperate.

We must not give up because miracles are being released NOW from the throne room of GOD.

In His Unconditional Love,

Cathie