Self-Pity is Ugly

Sometimes there is a pay-off for constant self-pity, playing the victim, etc. The pay-off is attention. Another pay-off is using these things as an excuse for not achieving goals.

At first the attention is given by people who feel sorry for the person…..but ten plus years down the road people start to avoid people who play the victim.

It’s not that some don’t have reasons for their victim mentality. Years of devastation, betrayal, rejection and loss have occurred.

God wants to heal the years the locust have eaten away. Like my favorite song says, “He’s a way-maker, miracle worker, promise keeper, light in the darkness..”

Only His supernatural healing power will restore you!

Joel 2:24-26

…24The threshing floors will be full of grain, and the vats will overflow with new wine and oil. 25I will repay you for the years that the swarming locusts have eaten— the young locust, the destroying locust, and the devouring locust My great army that I sent against you. 26You will have plenty to eat, until you are satisfied. You will praise the name of the LORD your God, who has worked wonders for you. My people will never again be put to shame.…

In His Unconditional Love,

Cathie Miller

Advertisements

He’s Your Ride Or Die God

img_4225

“This is what the Lord says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. 11For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.b I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.” Jeremiah 29:10-14
Sometimes our lives make absolutely no sense at all. We have a vision of what we want our lives to look like but then things happen that were not in our script. Things like job lay offs, illnesses, tragedies, misunderstandings and betrayals. People come and people go unexpectedly and suddenly we are in the middle of a life we hadn’t planned on having.

In my life I have learned that these changes, these life-events, force us to face our vulnerabilities. Some of these changes we face in life make us realize that we are not perfect and we can’t do things the way we want to do them anymore.

If you are lucky you will have one or two “ride or die” friends that stick by you during these unexpected life changes. But truthfully those friends are rare. There is an old song with a line in it that goes, “Nobody wants you when you are down and out.” Maybe like me you found that out too.

I had one person I considered a ride or die friend, but then I found out she had told things about my life, and problems, to her whole family. As a matter of fact some of them listened in to our phone conversations. That betrayal was painful, but in the long run it only served to bring me closer to God and left her wondering why I no longer wanted to be her friend.

Like me you may have found that God is the only person who you can go to and be honest with about your feelings that will not betray you and derive pleasure from your downfall.

When, due to my husband’s catastrophic illness, we lost our entire savings our life changed in so many ways. Losing our life savings, due to all the things that come along with health challenges that health insurance just doesn’t cover, caused life changes in our living style. We lived in a beautiful 3,000 square foot home at the time, and then, when that got too expensive we leased a home to buy it because our credit was ruined too. We lost that home due to a breach of contract by the crazy owner, and ended up in a small home that we were thankful to have. At one time it looked as if we would be living in our car.

Instead of offering actual help many people either ignored us, gossiped about us, or offered to pray for us. Yes, the prayer is much needed but showing up and just helping works well too. Many times people in life crisis are too depressed to even get dressed so understand that too!

I could go on and on but I know that many of you reading this could tell your own stories. You are here, but holding on to your faith in God like a titanic survivor holding onto a life raft.

Don’t try to make much sense of it because I have found that do to that is a horrible waster of time and brings in a horrible sense of self-pity. You start thinking about one thing that is wrong and then that cascades into a series of thinking of everything else that went wrong. Before you know it you are in bed, can’t get up or get dressed and horribly depressed.

As a counselor I have heard many tales of people trying to cope with life changes in bizarre ways. My favorite by far is the one of a woman whose marriage fail completely apart a week after her husband had sent her a dozen roses at work for her birthday. After bragging to everyone at work about how blessed she was to have him she found out he was not only involved with another woman but the woman was pregnant with his child. She went to the store and bought a case of Jiffy Peanut Butter and sat in bed with a spoon eating it and throwing the empty jars on the floor. When she finally let her mother into the house her mother saw the trail of empty peanut butter jars and spoons and said, “Honey, you have to snap out of this.” Yes, we both laughed about it. However, if you have ever been anywhere close to devastated in life, you can certainly understand.

Until I really experienced it myself I never knew the desperation behind the statement, “What am I going to do now!”

I want you to know that there is hope, you will make it. You don’t think so, but you will. You will come out the other side of this much a much better person then you were before. You will survive.

The key is to come to terms with the problem. Realize it won’t change but that’s okay you ARE GOING TO MAKE IT. Once you can quit feeling sorry for yourself you simple get up, shower, dress and set about to create a new story of your life. In this story you are the heroine that overcomes. You will put one foot in front of the other and survive and learn so much in doing so. One step at a time and one day at a time. You are fierce and you are strong. You are not going to let whatever broke you destroy you. Against all odds you are going to make a new, beautiful life for yourself. The only ones who don’t make it, truthfully, are the ones who don’t accept the truth and determine to move on.

You are going to have to do that anyway, so why not today! Change your story, write a new script. In this story you, like Scarlett O’Hara in Gone With The Wind, make up your mind that as God is your witness you will never be destroyed like this again! You are a survivor. Life messed with the wrong person!

Pray and ask God to help you. He will, He is just waiting for you to get up first. When he healed the man outside of the waters of Bethesda he said to the man, “Get up. Take your mat and get up!” Then, God worked in his behalf and healed him. He will do the same for you!

In God’s Unconditional Love,
Cathie Miller

If you are interested in Christian counseling please contact me through my webpage contact page which can be found through the link below. I counsel over the phone and you pay through PayPal.

www.helpforgodshurtingpeople.com

Someone Needs This Message

Someone needs this

You keep letting someone you love make a fool of you. God loves you so much and as His beloved child his heart is broken.

You do not need this person. You are simply afraid to be alone. You have low, low self-esteem. Others look at you and cannot understand why you are letting yourself be disrespected in this way.

Love shouldn’t hurt.

Satan is using this person to destroy you. Walk away. God has a person for you that is waiting in the wings but unless you close this door you will never meet them.

In His Unconditional Love,

Cathie

The Truth About Hearing God’s Voice

YouCannotConvince

Today God gave me a message that is not just for me, as I was in prayer and meditation with Him this morning. I believe when I write, which is my ministry, other people may get something to help them too.

As a person who has been studying self-help and psychology for over twenty years I would like people that have done the same to understand clearly that when we Christians say, “God spoke “this or that” to me that we are not psychotic.

I came away from traditional psychology because, in my experience, I saw very few clients/patients getting better. I watched so many people spend years in therapy, and years taking antidepressants, and never getting much better.

When I surrendered to Christ I had, and still have, a lot of supernatural experiences that healed me and changed me. God started to “counsel” me by a still quiet voice I heard in my head giving me advise, showing me where I was wrong, and guiding me into peace and serenity. I personally experienced something I knew was working. My own experiences taught me the reality of a living, breathing Christ, in the person of the Holy Spirit, who loved me and wanted me to be my best self. Each day, with Him, is another learning experience. I am able to teach others what God taught me, and through that counsel, I have seen many, many breakthroughs with clients and friends.When you experience the supernatural move of God yourself you cannot deny that it is real.

If you notice when Jesus counseled with someone, like the woman at the well, he got right to the crux of the matter. He didn’t do an intake, nor did he blame it on her childhood. It might have been a result of her childhood, her love addiction, but Jesus ignored that and dealt in the now.

The past is over, with its trauma. We can’t do anything about it, and so we need to deal with living sanely in the here and now.

The minute we surrender to God, and ask Him to guide us and our lives, he sets about to bring us to the right people to love and mentor us in His ways.

I have made so many mistakes. I am no saint. I have had to deal with the repercussion of a lot of those mistakes and it’s not fun. But once forgiven, repented of and turned away from, God sets about to mend the broken pottery of our lives. Sometimes he cannot replace a piece because someone choses not to forgive us. So instead he makes another piece to fit our new life exactly. He doesn’t leave us broken. I have found that the superglue He uses is so strong that nothing can disrupt the pieces of our new life that he puts together.

Nothing I can say will convince you to surrender your life completely to God. But if you do I promise you will be amazed, as you live your life in Him, how he makes all the crooked thinking of the past a straight road.

When people who have been in traditional counseling decide to counsel with me they find it different then anything they have experienced before. God speaks the truth about the persons situation to me and then I speak it to them, guided by the Holy Spirit. Sometimes just the knowledge of something that has been hidden comes to light and we wonder why in the world we missed it. We think, “I cannot believe I didn’t see that before!”

Along those lines I want to say that if you are a Christian and you are not hearing from God it’s because you are keeping something back you refuse to surrender to Him. Like the picture of the child not wanting to give the Teddy Bear to Jesus, you might have Teddy Bears you get pleasure from and you do not want to stop playing with them. It’s not up to me to judge you, however I am just telling you that nine times out of ten that’s what is stopping your growth in God.

Beloved, there is no time like today. Tomorrow is not promised to us. Surrender it all to Him and He will come to you with guidance, love and supernatural help. Forget the world that says your experiences with God are psychotic. We cannot please man and God. I choose to please God. Your choice is up to you.

In His Unconditional Love,
Cathie

Words Of Knowledge For God’s People

Some Words For God’s People

I do not know why,but I do know I’d better obey, this whole week God has been saying, “ It’s the calm before the storm. Stay close to me, rest up and save your strength because what is coming will take all the spiritual strength you have and more!

I have been praying during this time for many people, some on my prayer list and some that God just brings to my mind.

Here are some of the things God has shown me In the spirit;

I see a man who is literally at his wits end. He walks around all day with a smile on his face but truthfully he is torn to shreds emotionally. He is thinking of committing suicide. He has gone so far as thinking of different ways to do it. He is worn out from his stressful job and money worries. He loves his wife but her constant complaints are wearing him out. He needs help and feels there is nowhere to go, no one seems to care. God wants you to hold on brother! He cares and wants you to know he sees and is getting ready to increase your finances. You must hold on just a while longer because there is a promotion ahead for you. Just don’t blow it with “your mouth.” This is a time to trust nobody but me, says Father God, keep your anger inside. Soon everything at work will make perfect sense. Amen?

There is a woman God is showing me who is very devious. She is working against a woman of God. You think she is your friend, beloved sister, but she is two-faced. She says one thing when she is with you and it’s not the same things she says when you are not there. If you do not get her out of your life she will destroy it. God says to fast and pray. Surround yourself with angels and keep her as far away from you as possible. She is jealous of what you have and who you are. She pretends to be a sister in Christ but she has a Jezebel spirit and would love to destroy your relationships by telling lies about you. Bind that Jezebel spirit and keep her out of your inner circle. God will cover you and what she has planned for you will fall back on her. Amen!

In His Unconditional Love,

Cathie

Regarding Suicide

Before I start my story let’s get this out of the way, yes I know life can get hard sometimes and I have compassion for those who feel like quitting. I know that sometimes the pain gets to be too much and that sometimes the person in pain just wants it all to end. Having said that let me show you the other side of suicide.

In my humble opinion suicide is the ultimate Narcissistic act. It’s the person saying my pain is more intense then my love for you, my child, my parents, my siblings or my partner. It’s a lifetime sentence for the people left behind.

Some of you know that God works through me in mystical ways. I don’t like the word mystic but it’s my only way to explain it to folks who don’t understand the gifts of the Holy Spirit, so please bear with me.

One day many years ago, while doing spiritual counseling with a client, I saw first hand the aftermath of suicide. The woman sitting in front of me was a physical therapist at a facility that I too worked at. I knew nothing about her but that.

Immediately, as she sat down, God showed me a very agitated woman standing in back of the physical therapist. I tried to ignore it but the woman kept agitating. Finally I stopped long enough to hear the woman say, over and over, “Tell her I am sorry, tell her I am sorry, tell her I am sorry!”

I said to the PT, “ I am sorry but before we go any farther there is a woman standing in back of you repeating over and over, “Tell her I am sorry.”

The PT’s eyes got big and she started to cry. Huge body wracking sobs were coming out of her. I was taken a back, and stood up to go comfort her by giving her a hug. She just collapsed into that hug like a child whose heart had been broken in a million pieces.

When she finally gathered her composure she told me the following; “You don’t know this but when I was 12 years old my mother shot and killed herself in front of me and my two younger brothers. I have wondered my whole life if she had any idea of the pain she was causing me, and my brothers, in order that she could escape her own pain. You have just given me the closure I never had!”

My entire life I have not forgotten that particular counseling session. The pain that poor woman had inflicted upon her by her own mother was simply overwhelming. It shaped my whole opinion on suicide from that day forth.

Please, if you feel suicidal, consider the pain you are transferring from yourself to your loved ones and get help.

As Christians we are reminded of the scripture, “The Lord giveth life and the Lord taketh life, blessed be the Name of The Lord!” God gave us our lives and only he has a right to take it. There is a time appointed for each of us to die. When we commit suicide we show that we think that we, and we alone, have the right to decide when to die. We play God.

I know it hurts but find someone to counsel with and get help! God has a better plan for your life and Satan wants to disrupt that plan through death. Start praying for God to help you and He will! What you may see as the end of your life is actually a doorway to a new beginning!

In His Unconditional Love,

Cathie

http://www.helpforgodshurtingpeople.com

Jesus Can Set You Free And Keep You Free

372F667E-A65C-4C07-811A-57FBE99A9AA2

Sometimes we have to let people go for their own good. We cannot carry people,through prayer, forever. At a certain point in our walk with God we have to quit eating baby food and start eating solid food. At a certain point we have to grow enough to step out and use what we have learned to help grow others in Christ. We cannot help others until we get free from things that hold us back. Why? Because people see that as hypocrisy. They then turn away from God and some never come back! I did that for years before I was completely set free from things ruining my testimony. 

If there is no growth it’s because we are sitting around singing the blues, full of self pity,  instead of trusting God to show us how to live joyful in good times and bad. It takes work that no other human being can do for us. 

Remember when Jesus said to the man at the pool of Bethesda, “Get up, take up your mat and walk.” The man had complained to Jesus that he had no one to help him to the pool for healing. Jesus healed him, but then put the responsibility right back on him.

It’s wonderful when Christians pray for us! It builds our faith when God answers their prayers for us.

It takes us making a decision to follow God,no matter how we are feeling, to stay healed. 

God healed me of depression several years ago. But that doesn’t mean depression doesn’t try to come back on me, because it does. I have been taught by God that I cannot give in to depression. You know some of my life, but I am pretty sure you don’t know all. Believe me when I tell you that I have a lot of reasons to stay depressed. The only way to be joyful, is for me to choose joy. If I start to think about my life and feel sorry for myself I can go down into depression really quickly. 

God has taught me that when I feel the first little bit of self pity I simply STOP and put my mind on God. I praise Him for anything I can think of. I read the Word, I read the encouragement others put online, I put on worship music and raise my hands and worship. 

It’s not always easy. But it works. You may not be battling depression you may be battling drugs, alcohol, anger, pornography. Whatever it is, you can get it off your mind and out of your life the same way!

We cannot spend the next five or ten years taking one step forward and two steps back and then expecting our friends to do the work that  we  need to do to stay free!

Someone, right now Jesus is saying “It’s time to get free and never go backwards! As you make an effort to take responsibility and stay free, I will meet you right where you are and keep you free!” 

God loves you! He really does! You have work to do in the Kingdom! Take up your mat and WALK!

In His Unconditional Love,

Cathie Miller