Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?
2 Corinthians 6:14
I get a lot of email from people regarding relationships. So in this blog I am going to give you a little of my God given discernment regarding a Christian’s choice of a mate, or a date, if you will.
Would it surprise you to know that I have counseled people who met someone they thought was a believer, at church, only to find out later that not everyone that goes to church is a Christian, no more then going in a garage makes you a car ?
About 15 years ago God begin to teach me about being equally yoked. For a long time I thought that if two people were saved they would be equally yoked in a relationship. Nothing could be further from the truth, beloved.
For example lets say that you are a strong believer. You have a personal relationship with God and because of that your life is lived in accordance with doing those things that please your Savior. You are not a heavy drinker, you don’t do drugs and you spend much time in prayer and bible study.
Now there is this person at work, or wherever, who claims to be a Christian. They are nice looking, intelligent and fun to be around. You ask them if they are Christian, and they tell you “yes!” Right away you start daydreaming that possibly this is the person God has sent into your life.
After awhile you begin to have signs that this person is not at the same spiritual level you are. They are still partying and they don’t spend any time in prayer and bible study. By now, you are hooked in and Satan convinces you that you are falling in love and so you over look all these red flags and convince yourself that you can lead this person closer to God. You are walking a dangerous path, Beloved. Now, Satan has you on his territory and all kinds of problems are raising their ugly heads.
Being equally yoked means that this person is at the same spiritual level that you are. God needs to be #1 in their life. God wants His children with people who worship him together, pray together and read the word together. Why? Because relationships are hard to maintain, but when two people are centered in God, then they are more apt to work things out, then walk away.
We cannot lead another person to Christ unless the Spirit of the living God has called them. No matter how much we want them to be saved, we cannot force it on them.
God gives us free will. He could, but does not, force any man or woman to accept Jesus. Why is that? Because it’s at the calling of the Holy Spirit that a man or woman is brought to Christ. God knows His sheep and we know Him. We cannot be assured that anyone who claims to know Christ really does just because they say they do. The bible tells us that we will know them by their fruits.
Perhaps they do know God, but they are backslidden. We can pray for them but until they are fully committed to Christ we do not need to have a relationship with them.
God has the perfect mate for each of us. A lot of us don’t want to wait for God’s man or woman. We try and turn someone into to God’s man or woman, who may not ever have been called by the Lord.
Right now, more then ever, God wants Godly marriages. We don’t have time to waste. I have noticed that God is putting people together to minister. Nothing will ruin your ministry faster then an unbelieving spouse, or a “half-baked” Christian spouse.
When we have a lot of problems in relationships, our eyes get turned off of God and we spend all our time in emotional turmoil.
Sometimes people tell me “Well this person was so gorgeous, or so good looking, that I got turned away from good sense.” Let me put it to you this way, even if you like hot fudge sundaes, if you eat one everyday, they eventually get old. Do yourself a favor and wait. There are great looking Christian men and women too. You just have to wait and pray until God brings them to you. Trust me, God will!
I have had good relationships and disastrous relationships. I learned a lot by going down the wrong roads in life. I now try to counsel others before they “go there.”
Before I met my husband I quit dating for five years. I prayed and put my relationship with God first. At the end of those five years, when I had made myself ready, God brought His man to me. I made a list of everything I wanted in a Christian man, and I didn’t settle until I got it. Even so, the first two years of our marriage was hard. I had been single for years and my husband had been single for 17 years. We were both set in our ways, and if it had not been for God smoothing the way we might not have made it. I had a “spirit of imaginations,” due to all the dysfunctional relationships I had been in. I often imagined my husband saying and doing things that he didn’t, just because others had. God delivered me from that, miraculously. He can do it for you too!
Be careful that you do not compromise in relationships. The hour is short and Satan will stop at nothing to get an inroad to your life. If you are not careful in choosing a mate you are on Satan’s territory and do not be surprised when you get hurt.
Hold out for a real Christian, with a real relationship with the Lord! If you need someone to agree with you in prayer, email me and I will become your prayer partner!
In His Unconditional Love,